Hi! This is the personal webpage of Michael Zellinger ("the suspect").

The suspect's interests:

• A sound mind in a sound body
• Work that's play for mortal stakes
• Boa constrictors digesting elephants

Alleged recent reads:

• The Odyssey
• The Importance of Being Earnest
• Leaves of Grass
• A Night At The Opera
• Thus Spoke Zarathustra
• A Tale of Two Cities

Warning:

Suspect is presumed competent at delivering cross-functional expertise through people-centered channels (source).

If you have sighted the suspect, stay calm. Notify relevant authorities immediately.